AMRITSAR

The trip from c******88 took about four hours, and was problem free, until I got to the hotel, which was500 rupes. I was assured that I had hot water and tv. Nothing of the sort. They said not to worry, that in an hour they would have it sorted. You would have thought that one would have these small details before advertising them, would'nt you? I said to the manager that I would take an hour's stroll ( this time in my best Kenneth More officious tone) and hoped that it would be sorted by then. I did. I discovered during my amble that Amritsar is one of the biggest shiteholes, for all its sacredness, that I have witnessed since I arrived(and I've seen quite a few, but this one I think had the edge, so far, on the others). They say that cows are sacred over here. To my mind, if something is sacred, you revere it and care for it. You don't let it wander around, all scabby and grazing through the garbage. On return to my lodgings, which I had paid three days in advance( to show good faith). I was told thatn the tv engineer had not turned up yet, but he was due shortly and to make up for my inconvenience I was moved to another room, a double. I decided to go and visit the famous golden temple, a few minutes in pedalo. He(the pedaller) started to moan as he looked at what I had given him for a five minute suicide ride. I told him in my best aggrieved tone that he was lucky he got that for putting my life in peril. Things got better. I had to remove my footwear and cover my head with a cloth( I ask you). I had to hand in my boots to some sort of shoe cloakman and them wandered in, nearly falling arse over tit in the bloody footbath you had to pass through( I wonder just how many verrucas I picked up on that little wade). The place itself IS beautiful as I hope the pics show, but I would'nt go to Amritsar just to see the temple. You can't actually go into it unless you're especially pious(which I was certainly not). Anyway, after a whole turn arond, I decied to refresh my tootsies in that big square pond, which had huge carp swimming about, quite tame as they almost nibbled my toes, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. What now ? Two turbaned geezer, looking quite aggressive with pikes and all said that I could nt refresh my feet in the sacred pond. This was too much for me and headed back to the "hotel". Nothing had been done about the tv, but I was promised a bucket of hot water. After receiving a bucket in which not even Rannulph Fiennes would have dipped his remaining toes and having to kill a cockroach, I told the " management" that I would be leaving in the morning and expected the return of the remaining 1000r. I would rather have spent two weeks in the Spanish para's glasshouse, than another two days in that dive. Needless to say I was up bright and early next day and on my way to Ludhiana. One last interesting fact about the place is that it was there that Indira Ghandi was assasinated there by her two, loyal sikh bodyguards. Just goes to show.

El viaje de c###33333 tardo unas cuatro horas y no hubo novedad, hasta que llegue al hotel que me cobraba 5oor. Me aseguraron que habia agua caliente y television. Nada de nada. Me dijeron que no me preocupase, que dentro de una hora lo tendrian solucionado. Les dije que iba a dar una vuelta por su bella villa y que esperaba que a la vuelta estaria solucionado. Amritsar es unos de los estiercoles mas grandes de que sido testigo desde que he llegado aqui(y mira que he visto unos cuantos). Dicen por aqui que las vacas son sagradas. Para mi modo de ver, si algo es sagrado lo adulas y cuidas y no permites que mecen e montones de basura. La impresion que yo tengo, es que mas que les sean sagradas, les son indiferentes. Cuando volvi a mi pocilga, aun no habia llegado el tecnico de la tele y tampoco habia senales de agua caliente. Decidi coger un pedalor a que me llevase al famoso templo dorado. El menda empezo a quejarse cuando le di 30r por el viaje. Le dije que iba que chutaba despues de poner mi vida en semejante peligro en solo cinco minutos. Las cosas se pusieron aun mas cachondas. Tuve que entrgar mis botas a un botero y taparme la cabeza con un trapito. Despues casi me pego la hostia de todas hostias al resbalarme en un charco para los pies por lo que te obligan pasar. Vete tu a saber cuantas verugas y otras guaradas habre pillado. El sitio si que es bonito, como espero que las fotos muestren, pero no iria a Amritsar solo para ver el templo. Ademas, no te permiten entrar en el templo si no eres un devoto( que no lo soy). Bueno, despues de dar la vuelta al cuadrante, decidi refescar mis piececitos cansados en el estanque enorme que tienen.Tenian unas carpas enormes, que eran tan mansas que te modisqueaban los deditos. De repente alguien me toca el hombro. Ahora que. Di la vuelta y veo dos, enormes sijs con lanzas y todo que me dicen que no puedo lavar los pies en el estanque sagrado. Esto ya era mucho y volvi al "hotel". La tele aun no habia aparecido, pero se me prometio un cubo de agua caliente. Despues de recibir un cubo con agua, que ni el explorador polar Britanico, Sir Rannulph Ffiennes hubiese metido los ultimos dedos que le quedaban y tener que meterme en un combate mortal con una cucaracha, informe al personal que me largaba el dia siguiente y que esperaba la devolucion de las 1000r que habia pagado por adelantado. Hubiese preferido pasar dos semanas en el calabozo de los paracas en Alcala(circa 83-86), que dos dias en esa mazmorra. No hace falta decir, que el dia siguiente me levante con los pajaritos y me largue a Ludhiana. Un ultimo dato interesante es que Amritsar fue el lugar donde Indira Ghandi fue asesinada por dos de sus leales guardaespaldas sijs. Para que veas.